My Deepest Gift: living without a voice

Does your heart feel sweet like a ripe, juicy mango?

Mine did, once, about a month ago.  Well, perhaps it has felt that way before and since then, but it was noticed on that day.

This is the best way I can think of to describe my experience of open-heartedness.  It has a palpable, visceral, textural feeling to it.  Continually opening into that vulnerable place may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I’ve had many experiences that have opened me, but to consciously choose to keep going there mostly feels terrifying and overwhelming.  However, the result of not going there?  My physical body is talking...

For the past two weeks I have been without a voice...literally!  And for anyone who knows me, the irony of this is stunning.  I am one who is never at a loss for vocal contributions.

It has been everything from fascinating, to frustrating, to terrifying to observe the energetic movements of my process.  The persistent contraction in my lungs and heart has affected  my breathing and my vocal chords.  My affliction feels like an urgent and persistent invitation to speak truthfully from my heart (my mango), in every moment.  And what continues to be most humbling, is realizing that much of the time, I am not.

What is my personal deepest gift?  The feminine essence at my core. That wide open place in me that feels like a ripe, juicy mango when it’s authentically revealing itself.

Where do I live, feel and speak from most often?  The masculine that I have developed and strengthened over my life-time of living as a self-actualized woman in our modern times.

The result of expressing myself from a less than authentic place? 

A particularly high-pitched, quiet but squeaky and breathy voice that sounds somewhere between that of Bart or Marge Simpson.

If love is who I am, then any time I am embodying anything other than love, I am not authentically expressing my truth.  I am not speaking (throat chakra) from my heart (heart chakra).

Are you authentically opened as love in this moment?

No?

Then you don’t know that you are choosing suffering, or you would just open as love.  This is what David Deida, renowned author and speaker on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy points out.

What is YOUR deepest gift to the world?

Don't know what your deepest gift is?  Check out the brilliant work of David Deida.

Love’s intense conflicts are here in earth’s energies at present.  Venus will eclipse the sun this coming Tuesday.  In astrological terms, the sun represents masculine energy; bright, light, life-giving.  Venus represents the feminine; love, life itself. 

For those of us sensitive to these forces, you may currently be experiencing symptoms ranging from colds/flus (particularly voice issues), conflicts in relationships and matters of the heart, immune disorder flare-ups, heart palpitations, anxiety, insomnia, shoulder/arm/hand issues, etc.

These energies pull on the feminine, challenge the masculine and draw us into following the path of our open hearts.

For more information about the Venus transit, click here